Thursday, July 31, 2008


A posting on another blog got me thinking…Baby Cheapskate posted asking the readers what they thought the most worthless items were. And of course some people’s junk is another person’s treasure (yeah, I couldn’t have been able to live without my boppys (or is it boppies??) when feeding my boys alone, yet this was one of the most repeated things on the “worthless list”) but one of the posters sent a link to this baby gadget:

Maybe this is useful, but due to the shear comedy of the picture I just cannot fathom using such an item! I mean, look at those poor children…they’re already getting their first taste of what a future wedgie experience will be (and I have a feeling these poor kids will be getting wedgies with parents who feel the need to torture their child like this!). Come on that poor little girl just looks so perplexed…”Mommy, why am I hanging from a door??” And really, what if some jerk decides to unhook the "keeper" from the other side while mommy (or daddy, but I doubt daddy would do this) is taking care of nature??

So this got me thinking…what are the whackiest baby items out there?? In this day and age of “My baby MUST have the best/newest/coolest thing!!”, I figured there has got to be a TON of crazy must-have items in internet land. And, as you can guess, I was NOT disappointed:

The Baby Toupee

I really have no words for this, and it really doesn't need any, but seriously?? You're going to spend over $20 on a BABY TOUPEE...what the hell is wrong with you?? Who on earth would want their baby to look like Lil Kim??

Maloles Greek Sandals

So, I'm guessing you think they are cute...well of course they are, they are teeny tiny versions of Greek-style sandals!! What is not so cute is that they cost....wait for it...$100.00, and that is reduced from $160.00!! I won't spend that much money on my own sandals!! Well, to be fair, my only shopping option for sandals is usually Target and they don't sell anything above 20 bucks.

Ninetonine Zebra Crib

Is this a crib or a hutch for bunnies? Imagine your child having the mother of all tantrums and hitting his or her noggin off the back of the crib, YEOWCH!!

Non-Skid Socks for Infants

So, can someone inform me...why on earth do babies under, say 12 months need non-skid socks?? How much walking do newborns do? I understand my boys are preemies and are a little behind on stuff, but come on! I have heard of no baby under 9 months old that trots around the house so much that there is a significant need for non-skid socks.

Well, although there are so many more crazy things I could list, I think I will stop here. I'm sure everyone is now racing to buy all of these must-have items, especially the Donald Trump baby Toupee!! But you will have to fight me off first!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Apparently I'm an onion!

OK, so I blatantly stole this from another MOM (thank you, BlueLadyBug77) and decided that it would be nice to delve a little bit into me as a person, not just a MOM. So apparently we all have 9 layers and I will unravel them the best that I can....and hopefully it won't bring tears to anyone's eyes (go ahead and roll your eyes at that one, lol!)


Name: Amber
Birth date: October 7th
Birthplace: Buffalo, NY Current Location: MA
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Red
Height: 5′6
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Indecisive Libra - Fits me to a T


Your heritage: I'm a mutt, but mostly Irish, English, German and a wee bit o' French
The shoes you wore today: Black Ballet Flats from Target (woohoo Target shoes!)
Your weakness: Sweet stuff, especially chocolate
Your fears: Something terrible happening to the boys while I sleep
Your perfect pizza: Pear, Gorgonzola, & thyme pizza, but anything from ZA!
Goal you’d like to achieve: To maintain my sanity at least until the boys turn 1


Your most overused phrase on AIM: AIM but I am forever saying BTW on email & texts
Your first waking thoughts: Are the babies ok?
Your best physical feature: My eyes since pregnancy has ruined "the girls"
What you miss the most: having money to burn and no responsibilities


Pepsi or Coke: Coke in the can (I'll take coke zero too, it's delicious!)
McDonald’s or Burger King: Neither, no fast food thanks (but I'll take a diet coke frosty float from Wendy's)
Single or group dates: I love group dates...our friends are fun!
Adidas or Nike: can I say sketchers??
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: As long as lipton means real iced tea
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate all the way
Cappuccino or coffee: Macchiato for me, please!


Smoke: Nope
Cuss: Only when very angry...or driving
Sing: I do, but I shouldn't :)
Take a shower everyday: Actually, pretty much now...thanks to going back to work and the gym!
Do you think you’ve been in love: I know I have been in love!
Want to go to college: Been there and done that, but would love to do it again!
Liked high school: Had a blast!
Want to get married: Nope, Matt forced me :)
Believe in yourself: Most of the time
Get motion sickness: If I read in the car
Think you’re attractive: I used to be :(
Think you’re a health freak: I am trying my darndest!
Get along with your parent(s): Yep, they rock!
Like thunderstorms: As long as I am safe and sound they are fun to watch!
Play an instrument: The clarinet, for like five seconds

LAYER SIX: In the past month…

Drank Alcohol: I am making up for 9 months of lost time...
Smoked: Nope
Done a drug: Does Advil count?
Made out: Sure, but it's not quite as frequent as it was when I was younger :)
Gone on a date: Nope, never been on one, just ended up knocked up with the first stranger I met!
Gone to the mall: Well, we were parked at the mall, but went to the Cheesecake Factory
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: By myself, no - with an accomplice, yes
Eaten sushi: Yep, yep...yummy delicious!
Been on stage: Not in the past month
Been dumped: Oh sure, we threaten to divorce each other all the time, lol!
Gone skating: Not quite cold enough in July to do that!
Made homemade cookies: Actually, I have...impressed??
Gone skinny dipping: Not recently :)
Dyed your hair: Nope, and it's due!
Stolen anything: My husband's heart?? Ha ha


Played a game that required removal of clothing: Of course
If so, was it mixed company: Of course
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Does this need to be explained? I did go to "ZooMass!"
Been caught “doing something”: I plead the fifth
Been called a tease: sure, but not in a bad way
Gotten beaten up: not that I can recall!
Shoplifted: A pack of gum when I was 7, I still feel guilty about it to this day!
Changed who you were to fit in: Who didn't when they were young and dumb?


Age you hope to be married: 25 - and my dreams came true!
Numbers and Names of Children: Joshua & Broderick
Describe your Dream Wedding: Take my wedding and put it in Maui...that would have been the only thing to make it better, oh and if it was free!
How do you want to die: Without Pain
Where you want to go to college: Salve, hello, your dorm room is in a mansion!
What do you want to be when you grow up: I am not sure yet...personal chef, maybe
What country would you most like to visit: Italy, France, Ireland, Greece, and Australia are all tied for 1st


Number of people I could trust with my life: Dunno - but I trust my husband and family totally
Number of CDs that I own: A Bunch
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: None that I know of!
Number of scars on my body: Too Many - appendectomy scar, c-section scar, 3 bunion scars, a bunch of knee surgery scars, and then the scars from growing up
Number of things in my past that I regret: I try not to regret anything, but I am sure there are a few things I would change if I could.

Well, maybe you learned something new about me and maybe you didn't...but at least it wasted some time for me at work :) And here is a pic of the boys because there is no way I should have more than 3 posts of no babies!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Step Right Up...

And feast your gaze upon a wonder that surpasses all wonders! This is something so new and fabulous you will not believe your very own eyes. TWINS!! And not only twins but twin boys at that! For a bargain price of $5 each, you too can touch these amazing marvels....

Really, is that what people think when they see us out in public?? That we are this amazing freak show that has never been witnessed before?? All kidding aside, that is truly how I feel when we take the boys out. I try and believe that all those stares are not for us, but for something truly amazing that is happening behind us. But when I turn around, sadly there is no one behind us spitting fire, just more interested onlookers. I am not the type of person that particularly enjoys being the center of attention, (looking beautiful in a big white wedding dress excluded, of course), so all this blatant fascination is quite foreign and awkward for me.

It is amazing how much time onlookers can take up when we are out and about with the boys. A simple run to Target turns into a complicated shopping trip in which I am dodging the gawkers at every corner! And believe me, I understand that twins are cool and very exciting, but I am not the first person they've seen with twins and nor will I be the last. I have noticed that this unearned attention occurs in three different levels:

1) Gawker From Afar - These are the people that don't say anything to you, but stop in their tracks once they see the twins. Usually, they will do a double-take and if they are with another person, will whisper to them. I usually hear "Oh look, it's twins" under their breath as they walk away.

2) Short but Sweet Gawker - These are the people that see the twins in public and say congratulations in passing. Usually, the exchange goes something like this: "Twins? Wow, they are gorgeous! Two Boys? What a blessing, congratulations!!". And since I am, of course, the mother to the two cutest boys on the planet, I usually don't mind this exchange at all. It's quick and to the point and lets me remember how lucky I am.

3) The World Must Stop, it's Twins Gawker - These are the people who give all the other gawkers a bad name. Not only do they stop you in your tracks, but the proceed to ask about ten million questions, most of which are very personal. The exchange with these people usually goes like this: "OH MY GOD, ARE THOSE TWINS?!?! WOW!! Do twins run in your family? Are they natural? Did you get a c-section, because those look like c-section babies! Well, now you have two boys, when are you going to try for that girl??" It feels like I've been accosted when I'm done talking to these people and I don't mean literally, but sometimes they do reach out to touch them, and I try my best not to cringe and go into psycho protective mommy mode. It always boggles my mind the nerve of some of these peoples questions and/or comments, and just makes me realize how crude the general public can be.

Finally, there is a subcategory that can fit into any of the above gawker-types and that is from other MOMs (Mothers of Multiples), who ironically I could talk to all day, since I am fascinated by their twins and the fact that they are still alive and seemingly sane. I mean, the fact that they are out and about and functioning in public is a good sign, right?? These people are always more than welcome to stop and take up my time since I am always eager to learn that there is indeed "a light at the end of the tunnel" or "that it gets easier, I swear!"

Believe me, like any other proud mom, I do enjoy (to an extent) the attention my boys receive. They are in fact the bestest most cutest little guys in the world and I am glad that the general public agrees. But, please don't treat us like a freak show, because in fact, it is stressful enough getting out into public with two infants, I don't want to feel like I am in a fishbowl as well!! Just imagine how you would feel, walking into the grocery store or Target and being stopped and asked questions every step of the way "Oh wow, your a GIRL, that is sooo AMAZING, are your boobs natural??" or "MOM LOOK OVER HERE...that girl dyes here hair, lets go see!!".

We all deserve some peace when we brave the outside world, whether with kids or not :)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Hey, who is that guy??

As any mom of twins know, the first time they actually notice each other is greatly anticipated. I mean, here are my two little guys that never stopped kicking and punching each other inside my belly (believe me, they never stopped as I probably have permanent internal bruises from them!), yet have absolutely no idea of each other's existence since they've joined the world! How bizarre is that?!?

And in conjunction with the great anticipation of twins finally noticing each other, come the great anticipation of the day that they can entertain each other, which means that mommy and/or daddy can cut down on the three ring circus act that needs to be used to occupy them in between their feedings. Oh what a happy day that must be, right up there with holding their own bottles and potty training!

Strangely, I just assumed that one day they would just notice each other and that would be all that was needed to rekindle that womb relationship they had going. But nope, it's been a much more gradual process than that. At first, they would kinda glance at the "other guy" once and a while if said baby was in their line of vision. Then they actually started to look at each other, noticing there was another person there that was not mommy or daddy or any other adult for that matter. And now, they have graduated to full on eye contact with each other for several seconds at a time and have even been able to have a conversation in that oh so adorable baby babbling. And sadly, while it is not as earth shattering as I thought it would be (they'd do fist pumps, giggle and roll off into the sunset), it sure is entertaining to see the transition.

Although it might be awhile until they can fully interact and entertain each other, it sure is fun to watch them noticing the "other guy". They get these looks on their faces that seem to say "Whoa, mom did you see that guy? Who the heck is that?? He looks just like me!" What a riot it will be to hear them speak in their own twin speak about stuff we'll never understand. Just another crazy cool thing about having twins :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Birth Story - Part 2

Onto part 2...

Ok, to recap a bit; So there I am in the bathroom of my hospital room having just pulled the red emergency lever after a long debate with myself. Remembering the nurses telling me "That's the one you pull if you really want service quickly", immediately I had two nurses rush into my bathroom asking me if I was OK and in an incredulous voice I told them "Um, I think my water broke". They told me to get up, and yes indeed, I still had the mighty Mississippi flowing out of me, so thankfully I didn't look like a big liar to them. The nurses were in full agreement and ushered me back to my bed so they could get a listen to the babies' heart rates on that dreaded monitor.

Knowing that this could be the last time I had to be on that thing, I was so thrilled. After being in the hospital for almost 3 weeks and having to have a non stress test (NST) everyday, sometimes more the once a day was the most excruciatingly annoying tedious process of my entire bed rest experience. Not only did I have to sit absolutely still on my back for 20 minutes (which is damn near impossible since the babies press on your vein and causes you to black-out) but it took the nurses at least 20-30 minutes just to find the babies on their heart rate monitors. And of course the boys would never stay on the monitors as long as was needed to read the NST correctly, so they would either make me go through it all over again, ugh, or bring in the ultrasound machine and conduct a biophysical profile (bpp). This was a lot more fun for me because not only did it take less that 5 minutes usually to get what they were looking for (practicing breathing, kicking and moving arms, heart rate) but I got to see my little boys up on the screen. I just didn't understand why they made me go through all the torture of NSTs when they could just do it quickly with a bpp, but who knows I don't make the rules. I was just glad of the prospect of never having to be on that machine again!

Thank God the boys were actually very cooperative and were located right away on the monitor. The resident that was assigned to my floor also had come in joking with me about not waiting for him to show up to have my water break. One thing I have to say is that the doctors & residents at Tufs were phenomenal. They were always so nice to me and kept me updated on my pre-eclampisa and always made me feel well cared for. If I am ever pregnant again, I will go there thanks to my wonderful experience with the staff.

So, here I am surrounded by this flurry of activity and I am in the process of calling my husband. Since it was around 7AM, I knew Matt would be on his way to work, so when I called and got his voicemail I was a little concerned. After trying to call him over 15 times I was started to get very pissed off! Here I was, with all these doctors and nurses around me discussion my imminent c-section and I can't get ahold of my damn husband. I called his parents, I called the school (in which no one answered at ten past seven in the morning which was very strange to me), I called my parents telling them all to hunt him down and let him know, oh by the way your wife is going to have babies today!!

Finally, Matt called me back after what seemed like a lifetime, but in reality was more like a half hour. Turns out that he thought it would be a good idea to go to the gym at his school before work and that not bringing a phone would be an even better idea. So after asking what the hell he was thinking, he rushed over to the hospital and was there in like 10 minutes flat. I don't care if he works in Malden or not, there is no way he drove at a safe speed to get from Malden to Boston in 10 minutes, no matter what he says :)

Turns out Baby A's (Joshua) water broke, so by 9AM they are starting to prep me for my surgery and I am wheeled into the OR. Now, I've had a few surgeries in my life (7 including the c-section) but I've never been wheeled into an OR completely awake and sober. I am usually on my way to being very drugged up on some nice pre-operation stuff which makes me nice and loopy. Needless to say, I couldn't get over how bright and cold the room was. And I was wearing a tissue-thin hospital gown that did nothing to warm me or cover my ginormous belly! So I am showing off my huge ass to the whole operating room which was now filled to the gills with "teams" of people. There was the anaesthesia team, the delivery team, the nurse team, the baby A team and the baby B team. I don't know how many people were in there, but Matt counted at least 14 in the room at one time! And here I am in all my fat, pregnant glory with water pouring out of me like I was a leaky dam or something. I mean really, how much water can be in that belly??

Then they make me walk from the stretcher over to the operating table all the while I am dripping away which for some reason was very embarrassing to me to do in front of all these people. I'm guessing I had the "peeing in front of people" complex, when in fact, there was nothing I could do nothing to control it! Once I hopped up (well, maybe not hopped, I did gain 60lbs for this pregnancy) on the table, they started getting my spinal block ready. For anyone who hasn't had a spinal block, it was very bizarre because from my chest down I couldn't feel a damn thing. It took all of 1 minute to start working and then they were off to deliver these babies!

If I had any shred of modesty remaining from my 3 week stay in the hospital, it was now gone. They took the tiny piece of fabric that was called a hospital gown and proceeded to use it as a curtain to shield me from "the show" which I couldn't have been more thankful for, but at the same time I was now completely and utterly naked in front of at least 14 people. And it would have been one thing if I was in my pre-wedding body, but nope, I was a full fledged beached whale.

After the initial shock of my entire naked body being on display faded, the time just seemed to fly by. Although I couldn't feel it, I could see my body thrashing about from the doctors trying to pull the babies from my body. What a creepy feeling that not feel the tugging, but to see still gives me the willies to think about it. And not even a half hour after arriving in the OR, Joshua Edward was born at 9:34AM. I could hear his little cries and it melted me. And as far as I know, he was whisked off to baby A team to get evaluated. Then three minutes later at 9:37AM little Broderick Christopher was born. He was a little more quiet at first, but then his cries too filled the room and I was filled with absolute elation. Before they were taken off to the NICU we were able to see the boys and spend a little "alone time" with them which was so nice. I couldn't get over how calm and quiet they both were, just looking around and taking it all in. It is a moment in time I will never forget!

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I am sure it wasn't the most exciting of stories, but I felt it needed to be recorded so that one day when I am older, I can tell the boys how they came into the world because I know that I sure won't remember it, thanks to a little thing called's this affliction that allows the human race to continue because if women truly remembered what they went through to have a child, they would most likely never do it again!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

My Birth Story - Part 1

Well, most girls that I have seen start off their new parent blogs with either a BFP (Big Fat Positive, as in pregnancy test) story or the Birth Story. And since that would make perfect sense, I of course did not do it that way :) I only actually started my blog once the boys were born and in the NICU and long after finding out I was pregnant. So, I have decided to post all these previous stories for posterity. So I will be starting with the day that Josh & Brody made their grand entrance over four months ago!! Hopefully I can remember as many details as possible since although, I no longer have pregnancy brain, it has now progressed to mommy brain which is a far worse affliction :) First a little back story, but I am warning you, it's not for the squeamish:

Tuesday March 11, 2008 - 34 Weeks

Well I woke up around the same time that I do everyday while being on bed rest at the hospital - between 6-7 in the morning. Usually, it is the Dr. that is assigned to the floor that wakes me up at the start of their shift which is about 7AM, but on other occasions it has been the crazy Dracula lady that takes my blood. I kid you not, she talks in a Romanian accent and says "I've come to collect your bluuuud" and then proceeds to turn on every bloody light in my room turning into the surface of the sun all at 6AM. This time I woke up on my own, my stupid bladder was calling to me, as it did every 2-3 hours and waddled to the bathroom. Since it was almost 7AM I knew I was in for the deluge of the beginning of the shift visitors - The doctor assigned to the floor, the nurse assigned to me to take my blood pressure, the cleaning lady, the Dracula I decided to turn on the TV and not be scared awake like I usually am.

I actually feel rested thanks to the ambien the lovely 3rd shift nurse gave me at 11PM. Ambien is pretty hit or miss for me, well at least the pregnant me, because sometimes no matter how tired I was or how late I took the ambien, I still would get up at least twice a night to either use the bathroom facilities or to roll over. Yep, you heard that right...I woke myself up rolling over because it was such an absolute process, probably very similar to how a baby first rolls over - more in quarter turns than one fluid motion.

So I am awake and almost fully rested and very happy that I had made it to 34 weeks. Tuesdays were my week change day, so I always looked forward to them more so than I ever did when not pregnant. 34 weeks was such a great milestone for us since I had been sent to Tufts at 31 weeks and 5 days thanks to pre-term labor. I'll never forget being transferred in the Ambulance from Lowell General to Tufts since Lowell wasn't equipped to deliver babies before 32 weeks. I think I was in complete denial at first of the possibility of delivering my twins so early, but once we got to Labor & Delivery and received the first round of steroid shots to develop the boys' lungs and got "the talk" from the NICU doctor (anyone having pre-term babies can understand that conversation) about the consequences of delivering babies of my gestation, I realized this is a real and very scary possibility!! No, I was not ready to deliver yet! My boys were too small still and I needed to keep them inside me to continue to develop like they should!!

Thankfully, I did not deliver the babies on that day, but I was dialated to 3cm and needed to stay in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy, however long that would be. It was a scary position to be in, but I knew it was best for me and the babies so I would do what had to be done. So, for the next few weeks I made the antipartum/postpartum floor my home. All of my wonderful friends and family visited me and for that I am forever grateful because I think I would have gone mad if my only interaction was with the nurses coming to check my blood pressure or the babies heart rates. I mean I think the poor cleaning lady was sick of hearing me talk!!

On top of my lovely pre-term labor symptoms, I was also lucky enough to get pre-eclampsia. For people who aren't familiar with pre-eclampsia, it is a condition that only pregnant woman get which causes high blood pressure and severe swelling. In my case my blood pressure was high, but not ever high enough to cause concern for seizures or needing to take the babies quickly. But my swelling was so vicious that you would think I weighed 450lbs from the ankles down. My poor feet were so swollen that I could barely fit into the XXL hospital socks they had for me. I mean I already felt fat enough as it is, let alone all the water I was retaining!

So for once, I felt pretty darn good...I had made it to 34 weeks which is pretty darn good with twins since on average twins are born at 36 weeks. So I only had 2 more weeks to go, I could do this, I really could. I made it this far, what was another 2 weeks...right??

Well, the babies had other ideas because as soon as I got back into bed after my bathroom break, turned on the TV, I rolled over to take sip 10,005 of water that I needed to drink. As soon as I did that ::GUSH:: And all this water just fell out of me!! It was really one of the most bizarre feelings I had ever had, just like I completely lost all control of my bladder and the boys' decided to practice their drop-kicks on it. I knew it was my water, because really, my bladder was barely the size of a pea by now and I just knew it. Women who have had babies always say "Oh, you'll know when your water breaks, trust me" and as long as it isn't a slow leak, you will most definitely know!!

Now I'm thinking "Oh shit my water just broke" and I'm sitting in my very soggy bed (which now I know why the mattresses are all plastic, it makes for hot sleeping but easy cleanup!) thinking what do I do now?? So, I waddle over to the bathroom, as quickly as a 8.5 month pregnant lady with twins can move, all the while I feel like I am peeing rivers from my pants and I am leaving puddles to prove it. And I'm sitting in the bathroom staring at the red emergency pull cord next to the toilet. "Do I pull the handle? Well, my water broke didn't it....what if it didn't and I look like an ass that pulled the emergency lever? Dammit, lake superior is coming out of me in gushes, I'm pulling that lever!"

I think that this post has been long enough...stay tuned for part 2 and the actual arrival of my boys!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Happy 30th Birthday Matt!!

Well, it's official...I am married to an old man :) My dear husband turned 30 today and I am still a spry 29, even if it is only for three more months!!
And how does he get to spend it?? Not waking up in San Francisco and going to bed in Maui like for his 26th birthday, nope, he'll be lucky if he can go to the bathroom when he wants because he is spending his 30th birthday with the boys. And as wonderful as our boys are, I feel badly that there really isn't any pomp and circumstance for his big 3-0. He deserves a kick ass party with all the stops, but unfortunately for us, money is not on our side this year.
So maybe next year instead of celebrating his 31st birthday, we'll celebrate the 1st anniversary of his 30th birthday and have that blowout that he deserves.
Enjoy your day, my I have a feeling these birthday will start coming even more fast and furious than they once have.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Well, four years ago today I married my best friend. As canned as that sounds (completely agree with you, Molly) it is completely true! Matt & I have been together for 8 years now, and although it hasn't always been champagne and roses, we've had a wonderful time. And we have always "done it up" for our anniversary:

1st anniversary - Celebrated in Las Vegas

2nd anniversary - Celebrated in Key West

3rd anniversary - Celebrated in Bermuda (thank you Matt & Molly!)

4th anniversary - To be celebrated in Lowell

Hey, there's a lot to like about Lowell, right?? As much as I would love to go someplace fun to celebrate our 4-year anniversary, it's just not in the cards this year. It's amazing how quickly priorities change when a baby (or babies, in my case) comes along. I'm not saying you should stop your life or anything like that, but life is different whether we want it to be or not. In our case, since I was on maternity leave we just can't afford that romatic getaway this year. That gives me a whole year to think of something fabulous for our 5 year anniversary, which I plan on doing!!

And in reality, I'm just not quite ready to leave my boys for an extended period of time, anyway. It's bad enough I hardly see them during the week now that I am back at work, so any time off this year will consist of spending time with my men, all three of them!

Thanks, babe, for a wonderful 4 years of marriage. You are my husband, the father of my children, my best friend, my rock, my bad influence, my partner in crime, my love, my good time, my everything. It's been a wild ride so far, and with our new additions, I'm sure this is only the beginning. I couldn't imagine my life without you and hope that I never have to. I love you with all my heart and can never thank you enough for the wonderful gifts that you have given me, our boys!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Professional Photos

Well, here is one of the perks of going back to of my friends and coworkers has just graduated from photography school and was willing to take some pictures of the boys free of charge!! I was so thrilled when she offered to do it and am even more thrilled now that I have the pictures. She did such a wonderful job!! And I am hoping that she can use the photos for her portfolio, so it's a win-win situation. I will post some of my favorites, but if you want more of the Gillis Boys I'll be happy to email them or send you a CD (yes mom, I will send you a CD).

As you will notice (or maybe not if you can't quite tell them apart) is that Josh refused to be the smiley laid-back guy he usually is and decided to be fussy cry-baby. And Brody decided he would be a little ham. There aren't too many great pics of them together, so maybe when they get a bit older...enjoy!!

This is Skyla, our 9 month old neice...gorgeous!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Like a Flash

Um, can someone stop fast-forwarding my life?? Where on earth did the past 4 months go?? I swear, God has me on his giant Tivo up in heaven and is fast-forwarding my life by one arrow (you'll understand if you have tivo) thinking that I wouldn't notice...but I have and now I want to slow down a bit, thank you very much!!

Unfortunately, this is the best shot that I could manage with my boys. Not for lack of trying, I think I took at least 15 pictures, but for whatever reason the boys just turn fussy when the camera is on. I'm not sure why, but they could be Mr. Giggles all day but as soon as that first flash goes off, that is the end of the happy babies. And on top of that, once Lucy sees the flash, she is compelled to summon her inner ham and plant herself into every photo! It is too cute and makes for some really funny photos:

And then the boys cannot manage to keep one item of clothing clean for the picture shoot either, so Lucy makes sure she is on spit-up clean up duty as well:

Needless to say, their monthly picture are not the most calming of experiences and they usually leave us tired and frustrated at doing it in the first place. Thank goodness these posed "shots" are only once a month or I think I would shoot myself!

But now looking at the photos, it just boggles my mind that our little boys are 4 months old now! I mean seriously, I can still remember sitting in the doctor's office with Matt for my first visit and the looks on our faces when she said "Oh my, there's two in there!" Not only were we shocked, but we were terrified wondering how on earth would we manage to take care of two babies!!! Not only are we taking care of them, but they are thriving!

Surprise of all surprises, our little Brody now weighs more than Josh! Josh weighs in at 12lbs 5oz and Brody is 12lbs 10oz! They have more than tripled their birth weights and we couldn't be more pleased! Of course I am sure they look small next to a typical 4 month-old baby, but to us they are ginormous from what they used to be at just barely 4lbs. Here is a picture to compare:

So, although they might not be in the 90th percentile yet, they are well on their way to become the bruisers I know they will be!!

Another thing we learned at their 4 month appointment...they are now allowed to try rice cereal! Since they are both holding their heads up well, he says it is something they are ready for as long as they are holding their heads up....But no one asked me if I was ready for it!
Well, Amber, are you ready for your baby boys to start on solids?? Hell no!

And I understand we don't have to give them anything yet and it is actually recommended for them to start closer to 6 months or when they show interest in food, but my point is that I am just not ready for this step yet! I'm just getting used to having babies and all the work and fun that goes into that, I am not ready for them to grow up yet! First it's rice cereal, next it'll be driver's licences! Ok, I know I may be overreacting, but not really. I mean at the rate my life is flying by, I'll be a grandmother before I know it!

But, as with anything, denial is the first step. And as far as I can remember, acceptance is the final step. So, while I have not quite accepted that my boys are old enough for solid food, I did in fact make a purchase at the grocery store for some rice cereal. Of course, I don't plan on giving it to them until they are 12, but it is there in case I allow acceptance to overthrow denial. In the meantime, I plan on pressing the pause button to enjoy my pre-solids babies a little longer.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

"Hey, I've had them for two days...and they're still alive"

This is the exact quote that my husband, Matt, said to me on Tuesday night at his mother's house when I arrived and learned that he had used up the emergency bottles and had no more diapers for the boys. It made me chuckle because I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I mean I can't even kill a houseplant in two days and you are talking to a chick with two black thumbs (yes, indeed I have killed a cactus).

Before I start this story, I am by no means throwing my husband under the bus, more like having a laugh as his expense. He has been more than fabulous with the boys and is more than capable to take care of them. And someday very soon, he will be the boys' preference since I am sure he'll be the "cool parent" letting them eat candy and throw balls in the house :)

Let me back up a bit...Matt had decided to take the boys to his parents house on Day 2 of "daddy daycare" not because he is overwhelmed at watching them, but because it is obnoxiously oppressive here in MA and his parents have a bee-utiful brand new pool. I definitely couldn't blame him because a) a day by the pool is better than most any day AND b) he has built in help when going over there!

So the comedy of errors begins with the diaper bag. This is something that I have packed and ready to go on a moment's notice. It contains:

- one change of daytime clothes (rompers for the summer)

- one change of sleepers

- one change of onsies (in case it gets hot OR in case the boys have not two but THREE blowouts) for each child.

- 4 spit rags

- 2 receiving blankets (can be used for a multitude of applications)

- 6 Diapers (for 3 changes each)

- Container of Wipes

- 4 Emergency Binkies (there is not a worse thing in this world than a lost binkie)

- 2 Emergency Bottles (with powdered formula)

- 1 Emergency bottle of water (for above emergency bottles)

- 2 Emergency bottles of 2oz pre-made shelf stable formula (in case they run out of emergency full bottles of course)

Now I know this sounds like a lot of stuff, but it really isn't for two infants, and even more so, it is only packed for a 2 or 3 hour outing and not meant to be used for an entire day away from home. And it has tons of back-ups for the back-ups, but it still isn't meant to replace a well-packed "All Day Bag" that is usually filled to the gills with double of the above mentioned items. Well, poor Matt really didn't realize this and pretty much just took the bag, as is, to his mother's for an entire day away. Well needless to say, he used up the following items before I arrived:

- 5 of the 6 diapers

- Onsies

- Emergency Bottles

Of course this doesn't sound too bad, but the things he ran out of are the things that are the necessities of and diapers. He admitted to a blonde moment by only packing two bottles each, which is good for 6 hours if you are lucky. But in our experience we have learned that even if we are out for only a couple of hours we pack two bottles...if it is a longer outing we at least pack 3, cause you never know when the boys will be throwing of their schedule. So needless to say the Mother In Law formula stash was broken into along with the emergency bottles. Now, when I envisioned the use for said bottles it was not while at his mom's house because he had a blonde was for when we were stuck in horrible traffic or something on our way home and the boys were screaming and past due for their bottles. But hey, the term "emergency" is subjective.

Needless to say, yes my baby boys were still alive when I got home. Wet & out of emergency food, but still alive. Andthey have been since I started work which is great for me...since I did spend nine months and all growing them, I'd at least be able to keep them around for longer than any of my silly houseplants.

And now Matt knows what it's like to not go to the bathroom for the entire day...and he can appreciate that's all I wanted to do when he came home from work. Now it's his turn, knock yourself out honey...the bathroom is all yours!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Not Half Bad

Those are the words I would have to use to describe my first day back to work...but the pessimist in me sees "Only Half Good". Of course how bad could my first day really go, I hadn't been there in 4 months so they couldn't throw me into anything too stressful in my first day just due to the fact that I am so far out of the loop on any project that I can't be held responsible for anything quite yet.

Phew, so the hardest part is now behind me, that dreaded first day back...and since it wasn't half bad, I am hoping that I get used this new me: Working Mom when I had just started getting used to being a Mom and on top of that a Mom of Twin Boys. That is a lot of new titles to get used to in a 4 month period!!

Speaking of Working Moms...I just doen't get that phrase one bit. I mean seriously if you are not a Working Mom then are you a Non-Working Mom?? Um, taking care of children is waaaaay more than work, the word just doesn't come close to explaining the sacrifice and dedication that is required to be a mom...but the title of Working Mom is very redundant to me and almost condescending to a point - DUH - being a mom is work! And a lot of work at that!! Not only do you have to struggle with 8,9, or even 10 hours of dealing with babies you have to go home to your children as well :)

I give all you working moms TONS of ain't easy being us, and it sure as hell doesn't pay enough. I feel priveledge to be part of the club though and we'll see how successful I am! And hopefully the rest of my week will not be "Half Bad"
P.S. - I would like to personally thank our friend Rob for working so dillegently on such a genius picture :)

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Parting is such sweet sorrow...


The day I've been dreading since I found out I was pregnant is now less than 24 hours away...BACK TO WORK....

Honestly, I really just don't think I expect the day to ever arrive especially at the beginning of them joining the world. That was when my boys were in the NICU and I was home and the day could not come fast enough when they would join us. Each day just dragged by that I didn't have my boys home and that their setbacks were keeping them in longer. And then Brody came home, how exciting yet heartbreaking, one of our little boys was coming home while the other one stayed back to get stronger. And then the days didn't drag at all, but the time when BOTH my boys were home could not come soon enough! It was one of the worst times of my life when I had to feel like half a mother to both my boys, forever leaving one to go spend time with the other. Those 5 weeks were the most trying in my life and I honestly couldn't wait for them to be over. FINALLY the day I had been waiting for since March 11, both my baby boys were at home!! We could actually become a "normal" family, that is as normal as a family can be with two newborns :) Of course, Josh came home on an apnea monitor that he had to be on when he slept which made things a little abnormal for a while...and we all counted down the days until we could give that back.

And as did everything else, that time did pass as well and we were well on our way to become parents to typical newborns. It was harder than hard, tougher than tough, but well worth the journey. Now looking back, I realized that I so desperately wanted to get to the next stage of their recuperation that I was actually wishing away my time with them. And now 17 weeks later, what I wouldn't give to get that time back. Not to the time when they were so little and sick in their isolettes that were maintaining their temperature for them, or those damn feeding tubes that we hated as did the boys since they continued to rip them from their noses almost every day, lol. But to the days where they had just come home and we were just so excited to have two babies of our own. To the time where we were so sleep deprived that I was convinced I would never get a full night's rest again. What I wouldn't give to go back to the day where they both made their first coos and started smiling at just mommy and no one else. How quickly that time flew and dammit I won't get it back!!

I am so thankful for technology and for all the pictures we are able to get of our boys and be able to share with all of our friends and family at light speed. Gone are the days where you actually have to go get your film developed and man is that a Godsend since with twins, you are lucky to leave the house once a week!! I am so glad to have a continuous record of our boys growth and progress, from the time that they were so little I was petrified of holding them to now the pudgy little guys they have become. We have photographic evidence of what incredible fighters our Josh & Brody are and how far they have come.

Now, this time in their development they will spend with their dad, giving him all their smiles and coos. I am so thrilled that Matt will get to experience what I have had the privilege to experience over the past several months, and it will truly melt his heart and humble him at the same time as it did with me. But at the same time I am insanely jealous that he gets to have them all to himself as I once be able to see their little personalities bloom and to see them discover that they are a twin and the joy of having another little person that is just like them! How on earth will I get any work done, knowing they are giggling at each other??

I will be glad to get to have some of my own time that is separate from my boys, and on top of that even get to eat or go to the bathroom when I please, not when they allow me :) I'll be able to have adult conversations that don't center around poo or spit up or any other type of bodily functions and will actually be able to use my brain for things other that figuring out how to do things with one hand or figuring out how to hold and calm two babies at once. It'll be nice to feel like a functioning adult with something to add to the workforce, yet at the same time, if I had the choice, I would stay home in a heartbeat. Not that I don't want to do all those things I mentioned, I just don't want to do it just yet...they are only this small for such a short while and I don't want to miss a thing.

And I will now leave this with a picture of my three men, only a precursor of what Matt will be teaching them in the future :) I need to end on a happy note because I've cried enough while typing this post and need something to make me smile...enjoy: