Happy Anniversary to Us!

Well, four years ago today I married my best friend. As canned as that sounds (completely agree with you, Molly) it is completely true! Matt & I have been together for 8 years now, and although it hasn't always been champagne and roses, we've had a wonderful time. And we have always "done it up" for our anniversary:


1st anniversary - Celebrated in Las Vegas

2nd anniversary - Celebrated in Key West

3rd anniversary - Celebrated in Bermuda (thank you Matt & Molly!)

4th anniversary - To be celebrated in Lowell


Hey, there's a lot to like about Lowell, right?? As much as I would love to go someplace fun to celebrate our 4-year anniversary, it's just not in the cards this year. It's amazing how quickly priorities change when a baby (or babies, in my case) comes along. I'm not saying you should stop your life or anything like that, but life is different whether we want it to be or not. In our case, since I was on maternity leave we just can't afford that romatic getaway this year. That gives me a whole year to think of something fabulous for our 5 year anniversary, which I plan on doing!!


And in reality, I'm just not quite ready to leave my boys for an extended period of time, anyway. It's bad enough I hardly see them during the week now that I am back at work, so any time off this year will consist of spending time with my men, all three of them!


Thanks, babe, for a wonderful 4 years of marriage. You are my husband, the father of my children, my best friend, my rock, my bad influence, my partner in crime, my love, my good time, my everything. It's been a wild ride so far, and with our new additions, I'm sure this is only the beginning. I couldn't imagine my life without you and hope that I never have to. I love you with all my heart and can never thank you enough for the wonderful gifts that you have given me, our boys!!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

Sigh...

The day I've been dreading since I found out I was pregnant is now less than 24 hours away...BACK TO WORK....

Honestly, I really just don't think I expect the day to ever arrive especially at the beginning of them joining the world. That was when my boys were in the NICU and I was home and the day could not come fast enough when they would join us. Each day just dragged by that I didn't have my boys home and that their setbacks were keeping them in longer. And then Brody came home, how exciting yet heartbreaking, one of our little boys was coming home while the other one stayed back to get stronger. And then the days didn't drag at all, but the time when BOTH my boys were home could not come soon enough! It was one of the worst times of my life when I had to feel like half a mother to both my boys, forever leaving one to go spend time with the other. Those 5 weeks were the most trying in my life and I honestly couldn't wait for them to be over. FINALLY the day I had been waiting for since March 11, both my baby boys were at home!! We could actually become a "normal" family, that is as normal as a family can be with two newborns :) Of course, Josh came home on an apnea monitor that he had to be on when he slept which made things a little abnormal for a while...and we all counted down the days until we could give that back.

And as did everything else, that time did pass as well and we were well on our way to become parents to typical newborns. It was harder than hard, tougher than tough, but well worth the journey. Now looking back, I realized that I so desperately wanted to get to the next stage of their recuperation that I was actually wishing away my time with them. And now 17 weeks later, what I wouldn't give to get that time back. Not to the time when they were so little and sick in their isolettes that were maintaining their temperature for them, or those damn feeding tubes that we hated as did the boys since they continued to rip them from their noses almost every day, lol. But to the days where they had just come home and we were just so excited to have two babies of our own. To the time where we were so sleep deprived that I was convinced I would never get a full night's rest again. What I wouldn't give to go back to the day where they both made their first coos and started smiling at just mommy and no one else. How quickly that time flew and dammit I won't get it back!!

I am so thankful for technology and for all the pictures we are able to get of our boys and be able to share with all of our friends and family at light speed. Gone are the days where you actually have to go get your film developed and man is that a Godsend since with twins, you are lucky to leave the house once a week!! I am so glad to have a continuous record of our boys growth and progress, from the time that they were so little I was petrified of holding them to now the pudgy little guys they have become. We have photographic evidence of what incredible fighters our Josh & Brody are and how far they have come.

Now, this time in their development they will spend with their dad, giving him all their smiles and coos. I am so thrilled that Matt will get to experience what I have had the privilege to experience over the past several months, and it will truly melt his heart and humble him at the same time as it did with me. But at the same time I am insanely jealous that he gets to have them all to himself as I once did...to be able to see their little personalities bloom and to see them discover that they are a twin and the joy of having another little person that is just like them! How on earth will I get any work done, knowing they are giggling at each other??

I will be glad to get to have some of my own time that is separate from my boys, and on top of that even get to eat or go to the bathroom when I please, not when they allow me :) I'll be able to have adult conversations that don't center around poo or spit up or any other type of bodily functions and will actually be able to use my brain for things other that figuring out how to do things with one hand or figuring out how to hold and calm two babies at once. It'll be nice to feel like a functioning adult with something to add to the workforce, yet at the same time, if I had the choice, I would stay home in a heartbeat. Not that I don't want to do all those things I mentioned, I just don't want to do it just yet...they are only this small for such a short while and I don't want to miss a thing.

And I will now leave this with a picture of my three men, only a precursor of what Matt will be teaching them in the future :) I need to end on a happy note because I've cried enough while typing this post and need something to make me smile...enjoy:

Josh is coming home!!!

WOO HOO!!!
I am so glad to be finally typing that! Our little boy (ha ha, he has a pound on his brother) is finally coming home! Of course, there is a little caveat...since he is having breathing issues still (apparently his brain is a little immature and is causing immature breathing patterns) he will have to come home on an apnea monitor.

What is an apnea monitor?? Good question, I was wondering exactly myself and did what I do best...search the internet for more info. Turns out this portable monitor will be strapped on when Josh is sleeping and will go off (earsplitting I have heard) if he forgets to breath for a period of time. But from what I have heard, there are more false alarms that actual ones, so it sounds like we will be getting very little sleep until we get used to it. He will need to be on the monitor somewhere between 3-6 months which is not going to be fun, but we gotta do what's gotta be done. And I have a feeling that once he is home, he will do a lot better. I have read that once the twins are back together, the twin that doesn't have the breathing issues will help the one that does. So keep your fingers crossed for that!

So in order to get Josh home, we now have to learn how to use this monitor at the hospital which will take somewhere between 4-6 hours! Holy cow! Plus I have to get trained in baby CPR, which is a little scary, but it is a good thing to know anyway.

All that aside, I am beyond thrilled that our family will be together again. It's been a long 7 weeks to get them both home, and now the real fun begins...how on earth do I take care of two?? Here is the latest picture of Team Gillis, apparently Brody likes the taste of Josh :)

I miss my mommy!

Ok, I know that I sound like a 4 year old when I say that, but I can't help it, it's true. I just dropped off my mom and my aunt at the aiport and almost had a panic attack because there was no one to watch the baby in the back seat while I was driving home. You see, my mom was here for 10 days to help with things, thinking that both boys would be home by now (and as you can see below, they are not). But it was so nice to have her up for such a long time, not only helping me stay up with Brody, but giving me emotional support and the courage to take our first trip to a restaurant with a baby! If it wasn't for her, I don't think we would have tried that for 6 months :)

My point is, that no matter what age we are, we always need our mom and miss her when she is not around. As much as she drove me crazy when I was a teenager and vice versa I am sure...she has been such a great mom. And since my family lives down in PA, I don't get to see her as much as I would like. Plus now, being a new mom I would love for her to just be right down the road when a problems arises since I have no clue what I am doing!

Now that her grandchildren are up here though, they are seriously considering buying a summer place up here and I couldn't be happier! There isn't much to our family (only 8 of us at the Christmas dinner table and that included my husband) so to have them so far really is a bummer, but for 10 glorious days my mom was here, taking care of me and my babies...here are a couple of shots of her with her two grandchildren that she is already spoiling rotten:

And here is a picture of my favorite aunt with her two great-nephews!

As you can see, these two boys are totally not loved...not! I was so spoiled this past week and a half because there was no shortage of people wanting to hold, feed, and change little Brody. Plus they relieved us first thing in the morning so we could get some sleep...I really hope they come back once Josh is home because I will need all the help I can get!